Well, if you were like me, you had high expectations for the third season premiere of Heroes. After waiting practically 9 months, we were able to gorge on a buffet of two episodes. But after two hours of convoluted story and slightly lackluster TV programming, I felt as if I needed to spit up the bits that just tasted slightly off and discard the rest for cleanup. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed myself, just not as much as I would have hoped. I just have too many gripes for me to fully appreciate the show. I’ll break it down by character.

Petrelli’s
Interesting start of the show. The shooting set off the entire season in motion. Too bad the Petrelli family seems more f-ed up than a carnival freak show. Present Peter had been slowly gathering powers using them to save the world but the Future Peter selfishly is willing to kill in order to save his own present time. I guess that is what a Sagat-type scar-on-the-face will do to a guy. He’s not as likable anymore.

Hiro
Hiro’s story is so overdone. I get it, Hiro wants to be a hero. Waaah! You’ve saved the world twice, why are you so adamant about creating more problems for yourself. Can’t you just be content with being able to bend space and time. Hiro can see in the future whenever he pleases. Buy a lottery ticket and feed Somalia. Problem solved.

Claire and Sylar
The Claire and Sylar fight made no sense. The scene was truly suspenseful but it was if the writers said, “Hey, lets alter the script so drastically and make the first season appear like it was a waste of time.” Both, Sylar and Peter are way too powerful. Somehow superpowers have become more contagious than the common flu.

Mohinder and Maya
Mohinder seems so out of character from the previous seasons. He is an a-hole. I always assumed that he was trying to find a cure to the evolutionary changes. I guessed wrong. Is Mohinder bug-like Hank McCoy now? Which brings me to another point, how did Maya learn such impeccable English and when did she become a scantly clad whore?

Parkman
Good the telepath is no longer in the picture. I don’t care for Matt Parkman. Stay in Africa, for all I care.

Nikki/Jessica/Tracy/whoever you are
Never liked you, bi-polar girl or ice-woman, you’re not even eye candy. Someone kill her off.

Either way, the season looks like it will be great. I was surprised how much the censors let through. I caught glimpses of gray matter, a decapitated cheerleader, crispy corpses, and even a little side boob. I will be fine if the show’s momentum stays consistent throughout the year. I may have many gripes, but I will continue to anticipate each week.

Von